10 Issues of Online Dating (And How to Solve Them)
When it comes to the matters of the heart, gone are the days of coy courtship and long-winded romances. Lately, Filipino singles have taken to utilizing more modern means when it comes to finding their potential match. Nowadays, dating in the Philippines often begins with matchmaking services, speed dating, dating sites, and apps. And that usually results in running into common issues of online dating.
In terms of popularity, online dating has taken the country and the rest of the world by storm. Filipino dating sites have made it possible for users to begin their journey towards love without having to leave the comfort of their respective homes.
As beneficial as these dating sites may be, it doesn’t erase the fact that they come with quite a few downsides and downsides that may affect Filipino singles’ experience using them.
Here are ten issues of Online Dating and the best ways to resolve them:
1. Options overload
There are numerous Filipino dating sites, and applications found all over the internet. In fact, there is an estimate of 8,000 websites and counting worldwide. Such a large number of dating sites is highly beneficial since it grants users a wide array of options.
Users only need to use specific search criteria to get started, and they’ll be able to find a dating site in no time. In their search, Filipino singles should consider some factors: partner preference, location, nationality, and even device choice.
It’s important to note, though, that having these options isn’t always a good thing. While it’s enjoyable to try multiple sites in the quest of love, those who are new to the modern dating scene may find themselves stumped in the face of all these choices.
After all, with literally thousands to choose from, who is to say that there is only one perfect site? Or that, upon making a selection, it’s the right dating site to begin with?
The best and perhaps the only way to answer these questions and prevent any mishaps from occurring is by conducting research.
Statistics show that millions of people have tried dating sites and applications at least once. Although not all users are keen on sharing their experiences online, some can be found in the site’s testimony section or discussion boards like Reddit.
No two users have the same exact experience. However, they share commonalities in that they either went through something good or bad. With that, Filipino singles can gauge a site’s credibility based on this simple format: good reviews versus bad reviews.
Overwhelmingly positive reviews are generally good signs. New users are likely to have a safer and even enjoyable time using the site to search for their next romantic partner. On the other hand, too many negative reviews should be enough to make newbies stay away from the site entirely.
2. Dating scams
The internet is akin to a lawless wasteland at times. Unscrupulous individuals hiding behind computer screens run amok, causing chaos in every little crevice online.
Given the rising popularity of dating sites, it isn’t too surprising that opportunists have flocked to online dating for their next monetary hit. As a result, dating scams have become a severe problem in recent times.
Dating scams in the Philippines come in numerous forms. The most prevalent are scammers acting as if they are on the search for love, too. They link up with fellow searchers through dating sites, social media, and even email.
Some scammers claim mutual connections through friends, relatives, or even workmates. Others create dating profiles that are so well-crafted they reel in interested parties.
READ MORE: The Do’s and Don’ts of First Dates With Filipinos
Such long cons take months, if not years, to see fruition. Scammers first get to know their victims, slowly build up trust while occasionally flirting, before they inevitably strike. Meaning, they’ll start asking for sensitive details, like bank accounts or credit card numbers, often in the guise of needing financial help.
Filipino singles with soft hearts are susceptible to these scams. The best way to combat these dating scams in the Philippines is by staying vigilant throughout all interactions.
Experts advise taking note of how the other person communicates. A person who supposedly hails from an English-speaking nation should have an excellent grasp of the language. If their message entails otherwise — filled with typos and grammatical errors — that’s an instant red flag. Users should proceed with caution if they wish to continue interacting with the person.
On the other hand, well-written profiles and spiels are worrisome, too. Thanks to the internet’s accessibility, messages can easily be lifted from other sites nowadays. A simple copy-paste on Google will yield answers if the writing is authentic or not.
A sudden influx of compliments and flirtatious messages should be noted, as well. Scammers who aren’t in it for the long haul will share details about their lives that they think will progress the relationship. Frequently, these are emotionally vulnerable moments that will open up the opportunity to ask for money.
In these regards, users need to keep in mind that scammers are preying on the need for intimacy in an increasingly distant social scape. Staying alert is a must if you want to overcomes these kinds of issues of online dating. Just like what parents used to say, “be careful of strangers on the internet.”
3. Premium experience
Contrary to the famous saying, the best things in life aren’t always free. Online dating is proof of that.
Most dating sites are indeed free to use. If not that, they have free trials so that users can get a taste before diving in. However, no one can deny that the best dating sites require payment from users who wish to have a better online dating experience.
Such an experience varies depending on the site. Some restrict the chat mechanism to subscribers only. Others remove the limit to the number of people that users can interact with.
Regardless of the benefits that users will be able to access, the point still stands that quality online dating has a premium price tag. Having said that, expensive doesn’t always mean the best.
Filipino singles can avoid unnecessary expenditures by, once again, doing their research and taking note of the site’s pricing, user base, and features. Aside from that, they can also avail of the free trial to see if the site is the right fit for them.
4. Catfishing
One of the issues of online dating is the lack of face to face interaction. This makes it easier for people to lie about themselves online. Numerous online dating users have admitted to lying to make themselves more appealing on dating sites.
Some make minor tweaks to their person. These changes can affect their physical appearances, ages, careers, or hobbies. Others make tweaks so significant they come out as different people. These people are known as catfishers.
Catfishers thrive behind the safety of technology. Falling for catfishers will inevitably result in heartbreak since the persona and the person behind it aren’t the same.
To prevent this from happening, users should thoroughly vet people. Proposing to meet up before furthering the relationship helps users differentiate authentic individuals from catfishers. Suppose the other person keeps making excuses and delaying the meeting. In that case, it’s highly likely that they’re not who they make themself out to be.
5. Lack of boundaries
Two words: Genitalia Pictures.
Nowadays, everybody can attest that the full dating experience comes with unsolicited photos of the male genitalia. Psychological experts have delved into why men do such a thing. Still, it’s also good to note that it’s merely a problem that users have no control over.
What they can do, though, is block and report whoever sends some their way. Users, after all, curate their online dating experiences. To have a better time, one must enforce their boundaries to people who can’t grasp it.
6. Rejections
Offline dating entails one rejection at a time. Meanwhile, it’s quite the opposite for online dating in the Philippines, and it can be one of the more depressing issues of online dating.
Dating sites allowing users to link up with multiple individuals at once may seem like a godsend, but it does come with one painful downside. That is, a higher rate of rejection at a single point in time.
It’s possible to prevent this from happening by only interacting with one person, but that negates the purpose of online dating. So, instead, users are encouraged not to take rejection personally.
Everyone has their own preferences. It’s not a personal jab to the person rejected if someone refuses their advances. They just weren’t into it.
7. Ghosting
Receiving a “No, thank you” or an “I’m not interested” may seem painful as it is, but at least these statements offer closure. Users can encounter, ironically, rejection far more sinister through online dating in the Philippines.
Ghosting is one of the most common issues of online dating. It’s essentially dropping a person with no prior heads up whatsoever. Ghosters will cease all communications and move on with their lives, expecting the other party to take it as rejection after quite some time.
Similar to rejections, ghosting can negatively impact one’s self-esteem. There is no set remedy for ghosting, nor is there one proper way to get over it.
A good starting point, however, is not blaming oneself. Not only that, but talking about it helps, too. Doing both gives Filipino singles the chance to realize some things. One of these is that there is no evidence pointing that it is their fault that the other party cut all ties without notice.
8. Self-comparison
Online Filipino dating offers more choices when it comes to potential love matches. Unfortunately, it also opens up singles to unpleasant thoughts about themselves.
Such feelings are akin to social media jealousy. Profiles on dating sites are like Facebook or Instagram profiles in that they showcase the best parts of the person.
Users may come across profiles of people with seemingly better lifestyles and can’t help the flare of jealousy that they feel. A way to get over this is by taking stock of what one has, especially the positive and best parts. Another is by logging off for a while to regroup oneself.
9. Judgement
On the other end of the spectrum, but no less terrible, are judgment and pickiness.
The sea of choices that dating sites offer can cause Filipino singles to dismiss potential love candidates easily. Such a thing happens for a number of reasons, one of which is the “greener grass” mentality.
The greener grass mentality occurs during moments of indecision. In the face of too many choices, users may find themselves hesitating to link with people. Thoughts like “Are they really the best match for me?” or “What if I miss out on someone better?” are common occurrences during this time.
Now, there isn’t anything wrong with having preferences. Nor is it bad to have a mental checklist for one’s ideal partner. Things only go wrong when users don’t open themselves up to other personalities.
Finding a partner isn’t the same as picking out produce. Putting back fruits with bruises and discolorations is normal, but people deserve better treatment than that.
10. Dating burnout
Online Filipino dating is similar to traditional dating in that it takes time to come to fruition. Regardless of technological advancements and its effects on courtships, users still need to build up bonds carefully to achieve healthy long-term relationships.
With that said, failed connections can be extremely frustrating for Filipino singles. So is unproductivity — the result of not having any matches in the first place.
These failed attempts and consequential frustrations will eventually lead to dating burnout. Dating burnout occurs when singles find themselves having the same conversations with new people, swiping left and right too quickly, and generally feeling stressed and treating dating like a chore.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with dating burnout. One of the most cited is stepping back from the dating scene for a while. Doing so allows users to catch up on other activities and even explore new hobbies.
The destressing process will eventually remind burned out singles that dating is supposed to be fun for everyone involved. They can then go back to grind and hopefully meet their match the second (or nth) time around.
With all the solutions to common issues of online dating in your arsenal, you should be ready to take on online dating in the Philippines with TrulyFilipino!
